30 things I learned before turning 30.
Feeling an enormous wave of gratitude as I reflect on the last 10 years.
I send love to my 19-year-old self, who was excited about turning 20, who set goals for what that would look like and what she wanted to achieve. She didn't know how to use her voice, and she also didn't have a filter. I send love to my 23-year-old self, who was fearless and confident yet had the most fragile, anxious heart without any resources on how to calm it. Regardless, she decided to move four hours away from her friends and family, her safe place, to follow her dreams. I send love to my 24-year-old self, who stayed in a relationship out of fear of being alone in New York City. She had never been "alone" before and was scared at the thought of it. I send love to my 25-year-old self, who finally secured the job of her dreams, the job she'd been hustling for all over the city, the job that she dreamt about in college, in grad school, and even plastered all over her vision board, only to realize she wanted to quit her dream job. She wanted another dream because that one was no longer fulfilling. She didn't know what to do. I send love to the 26-year-old 'me', who found herself back and forth in another relationship, full of delusion disguised as love. She walked into her therapist’s office for the first time that year. I send love to my 27, 28, and 29-year-old self. Those years were the hardest, but she kept going. She knew she’d rather be alone, instead of settling for less than she deserved, fighting through the discomfort until it felt like peace. She knew eventually it would.
And today, it does.
Self-love has truly been my healing. I have immense gratitude for my 20s, and I'm so thankful for the lessons learned, the paths crossed, and all the people and experiences in between.
May my 30s blow my mind in the most gentle, magical, beautiful, and abundant way possible.
Dreams do come true.
Baby girl, please use your voice. It’s your most powerful tool. How can anyone know what you need if you don’t express it?
People will only treat you the way you allow them to.
When someone says, “you deserve better,” believe them.
Listen more. Talk less.
Being mean destroys you & others. Being kind serves you & others.
The right one will move mountains to be with you, not hide behind them.
Girl, quit that job.
That thing that you keep thinking about starting, do it. Start now. You’ll figure out the “how” on the way.
Celebrate your birthday, every year. Shoot, celebrate every day! The average person lives 28,835 days… How will you spend this one?
Time doesn’t heal, forgiveness does. Shifting from “this person did this to me” to “they helped catalyze me in the ways that they were assigned to do so.” And just a gentle reminder: forgiveness doesn’t have to mean maintaining a relationship. I can forgive and love from a distance if necessary.
If there’s one, there’s a million.
You truly do deserve to be paid, loved, and rested in high favor.
Money is energy. Simply tap in ✨
You are the prize. The gift. The reason! Okay! No seriously. You are a goddess deserving of the moon, the sun, and the stars. Believe that, then wait for others to catch up. Trust me, they will.
See people for who they are, not for who you want them to be. Stop breaking your own heart.
Let people love on you. Receive. Receive. Receive. You deserve that.
Your urgency is not my emergency. Boundaries are hard to enforce, but do it anyway. People will fuss about it, may even call you selfish, but they’ll be okay. Give yourself what you need.
I am never too much. My personality. My aura. My love. Makes me who I am. I am so grateful for how bold and bright I show up in my world.
Stop worrying about the people who don’t “see or hear” you. As long as you see and hear yourself, then you are seen and heard.
Spread good energy, genuine love, and kindness without any expectation. Any love I made you feel is yours to keep. Karma will forever be in your favor when you’re a good person.
Let people think whatever.
Your perspective isn’t necessarily the next person’s truth. How beautiful is it that so many different backgrounds, perspectives, and paths of life were all chosen to share this lifetime together? We can try learning from one another, or at the very least accept that someone can have a different experience. Even if you don’t understand or agree.
You can’t please everyone, so just focus on pleasing yourself.
If you can’t control it, don’t spend time and energy worrying about it. Give it to God and enjoy your day chile.
Listen to your body. Listen to your heart. Listen to your gut. Your intuition will never steer you wrong. If something feels off, then something is definitely off.
If you can visualize it and believe it, it will all come together for you. It’s law.
No. That’s a complete sentence. You are allowed to say NO, NAH. & NOPE.
You know what it never was? That serious. It was never that serious. Woo-sah, momma.
Black women live fairytale lives and have fairytale endings, too 😏 And I am living proof. 🧚🏾♀️
I love you. Thank you for being here .
xo, Ry