You Deserve Friendships in High Favor, too!

I know we say this every year, but for some reason 2021 is speedingggg by faster than the other years lol. Today is really March 1st !?!?

Though, one thing I love about March, is how Black women two-step from Black History Month to Women’s History Month 😜

I thought this would be a great time to talk about friendships, especially in the past year. Is it easier or harder for you to make friends and nurture your friendships after high school/college? What about now that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and most of us are working from home, and trying our best to limit in-real-life social activities?

I used to always say that it was hard for me to make friends.

I blamed it on my environment. I blamed it on me being an introvert. I blamed it on the trendy phrase, “no new friends.” Yea, yea.

When really it was me.
I didn’t value friendship.
I didn’t value the term “friend” because I had some people in my circle that I called “friend,” and our relationship was simply not that. So how could I value the term “friendship” when I had given this sacred title to so many people who didn’t fit the description of what a “friend” is to ME.

Titles mean a lot.
Friend. Best friend. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Husband. Wife.

We don’t just call every person we’re dating, “boy/girlfriend” – they earn it. And we damn sure don’t call every “boy/girlfriend” we’ve had, “husband/wife” – they EARN it. WE EARN IT.

So why did I just go around throwing that “friend” word so easily? This probably answers my question of why “friendships” were so easily disposable to me compared to a romantic relationship. I didn’t have anything invested. There was no value. So, who cares? Right?

I had to really get to know and love myself to understand what I’m worth in all relationships, platonic or romantic.

By doing this, I’ve been able to truly define what a FRIEND means to me. I know I want friends who reciprocate my energy, my support, my love, my time, my respect, and my loyalty.

I’ve had to truly believe that regardless of what I’ve been through with women and friends in my past – I DESERVE GENUINE, LOVING, BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIPS. And you do too.

I deserve genuine, loving, AND beautiful friendships. I'm so excited and open to seeing how this manifests.
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I had to learn how to communicate. If there was a problem in my romantic relationships – I would communicate it. Something would need to change so we can both operate as our best selves. Right? So, the same thing is necessary for friendships. I had to communicate when something wasn’t right. I had to communicate my boundaries. I had to communicate my expectations for this relationship. And vice versa. I had to be OPEN and RECEPTIVE to the boundaries and expectations that they needed as well.

Here’s what you do.
Cut off the dead weight. You know who I’m talking about.
The ones who don’t reciprocate your time, energy, and love. The ones who are secretly hoping that you lose. The ones who are a result of trauma bonding. The ones who you can only gossip with. The ones who only want to be there for you when you’re down, but when you’re up they go ghost. The ones who you’ve had a gut feeling about since you met them. THOSE.

And now, put allllll of your energy and time into the ones who DO show up. Now show up for them in the same way. The ones who got you. Now have them in the same way. The ones who’ve been there for you when you were down, but are also there to congratulate you. Support them in the same way! The ones who reciprocate your time, your energy, and your love. THEM! 😍

This is your gentle reminder that you are soooo sooo deserving of this.
Friendships; genuine, raw, loving friendships are yours to have.

I’ve nurtured, cultivated, and even had to break down the foundation and rebuild some friendships with some really awesome, loving, and beautiful women this past year. My friendships are a REFLECTION of ME, a reflection of GOD. My friendships are INTENTIONAL.

I added to my vision board back in January of 2020, “Thank you God for my genuine group of supportive, loving, God-fearing Boss girlfriends.” Though it took a lot of uncomfortable conversations, self-reflection & growth, I am so proud of the way that manifested ♥️

As we two-step into Women’s History Month, I want you to claim that your group of good girlfriends exist. You deserve that.

I’m so excited for you!

Sending you all my love.
Happy Women’s History Month, babes!

Xo,
Ry